[Intro]
G# Fm G Cm
[Verse 1]
G# Fm
As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
G Cm
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
G# Fm
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
G Cm
You know, I shun fancy things like electricity
G# Fm
At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows
G Cm
Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
G# Fm
And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that
G Cm
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
G# Fm
I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
G Cm
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
G# Fm
But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine
G Cm
Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699
[Chorus]
G# Fm G Cm
We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
G# Fm G Cm
I've churned butter once or twice living in an Amish paradise
G# Fm G Cm
It's hard work and sacrifice living in an Amish paradise
G# Fm G Cm
We sell quilts at discount price living in an Amish paradise
[Verse 2]
G# Fm
A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
G Cm
I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek
G# Fm
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
G Cm
'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in hell
G# Fm
But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
G Cm
An Amish with a 'tude? You know that's unheard of
G# Fm
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
G Cm
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool
G# Fm
If you come to visit you'll be bored to tears
G Cm
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
G# Fm
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
G C#
We're just technologically impaired
[Pre-Chorus]
G# Fm G Cm
There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar, not a single luxury
G# Fm G Cm
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be
[Chorus]
G# Fm G Cm
We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
G# Fm G Cm
We're just plain and simple guys living in an Amish paradise
G# Fm G Cm
There's no time for sin and vice living in an Amish paradise
G# Fm G Cm
We don't fight we all play nice living in an Amish paradise
[Bridge]
G# Fm
Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
G Cm
Raised the barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another
G# Fm
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
G Cm
Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art
G# Fm
I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like
G Cm
On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife
G# Fm
So don't be vain and don't be whiny
G Cm
Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your hiney
[Chorus]
G# Fm G Cm
We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
G# Fm G Cm
We're all crazy Mennonites living in an Amish paradise
G# Fm G Cm
There's no cops or traffic lights living in an Amish paradise
G# Fm G Cm
But you'd probably think it bites living in an Amish paradise
[Outro]
G# Fm G Cm
Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh
G# Fm G Cm
Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-yecch
The proper way to eat a cinnamon roll is to just bite into it