Chorus: A7 D Oh, I don't want no more of camping life F Please mom, I wanna go F But they won't let me go F C7 F C7 F Please mom, I want to go hoo-oo-ome F C7 The leaders that they give you, they say they're mighty fine C7 F But when they take their makeup off they look like Frankenstein (chorus in between each verse) The nurses that they give you, they say they're mighty fine But when you break a finger, they break the other nine The donuts that they give you, they say they're mighty fine But one rolled off the table and killed a friend of mine The toilets that they give you, they say they're mighty fine But when you go to flush them, they cut off your behind The water that they give you, they say it's mighty fine But when you take a sip of it, it tastes like turpentine The lifeguards that they give you, they say they're mighty fine But when you say you're drowning, they say you're doing fine
I Wish I Were a Little Bar of Soap
F C7 Oh, I wish I were a little bar of soap. C7 F Oh, I wish I were a little bar of soap. Bb I would slippy and I'd slidey, F Over everybody's hidey. C7 F Oh, I wish I were a little bar of soap. Oh, I wish I were a little hunk of mud. Oh, I wish I were a little hunk of mud. I would ooey and I'd gooey, Under everybody's shoey. Oh, I wish I were a little hunk of mud. Oh, I wish I were a little can of pop. Oh, I wish I were a little can of pop. I'd go down with a slurp, and come up with a burp. Oh, I wish I were a little can of pop. Oh, I wish I were a little slippery root. Oh, I wish I were a little slippery root. I would sit upon the trail, And knock everyone on his tail. Oh, I wish I were a little slippery root. Oh, I wish I were a little mosquito. Oh, I wish I were a little mosquito. I'd buzzy and I'd bitey, Under everybody's nighty. Oh, I wish I were a little mosquito. Oh, I wish I were a little squirty orange. Oh, I wish I were a little squirty orange. I'd go squirty, squirty, squirty, Over everybody's shirty. Oh, I wish I were a little squirty orange. Oh, I wish I were a little foreign car. Oh, I wish I were a little foreign car. I'd go speedy, speedy, speedy Over everybody's feety. Oh, I wish I were a little foreign car. Oh, I wish I were a fishy in the sea. Oh, I wish I were a fishy in the sea. Wouldn't I look cute Without my swimming suit? Oh, I wish I were a fishy in the sea. Oh, I wish I were a little safety pin. Oh, I wish I were a little safety pin. Wouldn't it be fun If I suddenly came undone? Oh, I wish I were a little safety pin. Oh, I wish I were a little band-aid strip. Oh, I wish I were a little band-aid strip. I'd stick to your hairs And pull them out in pairs. Oh, I wish I were a little band-aid strip. Oh, I wish I were a little stinky skunk. Oh, I wish I were a little stinky skunk. I'd sit up in the trees And perfume all the breeze. Oh, I wish I were a little stinky skunk. Oh, I wish I were a little sparrow bird. Oh, I wish I were a little sparrow bird. I'd sit up on the steeple and dump on all the peeple. Oh, I wish I were a little sparrow bird. Oh, I wish I were a creepy scary ghost. Oh, I wish I were a creepy scary ghost. I'd give you such a scare That you'd lose your underwear. Oh, I wish I were a creepy scary ghost.
Found a Peanut
F Found a peanut, found a peanut, C Found a peanut last night. F Oh I just now found a peanut. C F Found a peanut last night. Broke it open, broke it open, Broke it open last night. Oh I just now broke it open. Broke it open last night. Found it rotten, found it rotten, Found it rotten last night. Oh I just now found it rotten. Found it rotten last night. Ate it anyway, ate it anyway, Ate it anyway last night. Oh I just now ate it anyway. Ate it anyway last night. Got a tummyache, got a tummyache, Got a tummyache last night. Oh I just now got a tummyache. Got a tummyache last night. Called the doctor, called the doctor, Called the doctor last night. Oh I just now called the doctor. Called the doctor last night. Penicillin, penicillin, Penicillin last night. Oh I just now penicillin. Penicillin last night. Wasn't working, wasn't working, Wasn't working last night. Oh I just now wasn't working. Wasn't working last night. Operation, operation, Operation last night. Oh I just now an operation. Operation last night. Died anyway, died anyway, Died anyway last night. Oh I just now died anyway. Died anyway last night. Went to Heaven, went to Heaven, Went to Heaven just now, Oh I just now went to Heaven Went to Heaven last night. Wouldn't take me, wouldn't take me, Wouldn't take me last night. Oh I just now wouldn't take me. Wouldn't take me last night. Went the other way, went the other way, Went the other way last night. Oh I just now went the other way. Went the other way last night. Found it all a dream, found it all a dream, Found it all a dream last night. Oh I just now found it all a dream. Found it all a dream last night. Found a peanut, found a peanut, Found a peanut last night. Oh I just now found a peanut. Found a peanut last night.
Hole in the Bucket
F Bb There's a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza F Bb C7 F There's a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, a hole F Bb Then fix it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry F Bb C7 F Then fix it, dear Henry, dear Henry, fix it! With what shall I fix it, dear Liza, dear Liza? With what shall I fix it, dear Liza, with what? With straw, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry With straw, dear Henry, dear Henry, with straw. Dear Henry verses: Dear Liza verses: But how shall I cut it... With a knife... But the knife is too dull... Then sharpen it... With what shall I sharpen it... With a stone... But the stone is too dry... Then wet it... With what shall I wet it... With water... With what shall I fetch it... In a bucket... There's a hole in the bucket...
Bringing Home a Baby Bumblebee
[Verse 1] F Bb F I'm bringing home a baby bumblebee. C F C Won’t my mommy be so proud of me? F Bb F I'm bringing home a baby bumblebee. N.C. (spoken) Ouch! She stung me! [Verse 2] F Bb F I'm squishing up my baby bumblebee. C F C Won’t my mommy be so proud of me? F Bb F I'm squishing up my baby bumblebee. N.C. (spoken) Ooh! It's all over me! [Verse 3] F Bb F I'm wiping off my baby bumblebee. C F C Won’t my mommy be so proud of me? F Bb F I'm wiping off my baby bumblebee. N.C. (spoken) Look! All clean!
One Bottle of Pop
F One bottle of pop F Two bottle of pop C Three bottle of pop F Four bottle of pop F Five bottle of pop F Six bottle of pop C F Seven bottle of pop Don’t put your dust in my dust pan my dust pan my dust pan Don’t put your dust ind my dust pan my dust pan’s full Fish and chips and vinegar, vinegar, vinegar Fish and chips and vinegar, pepper, pepper, pepper pot
Titanic
F Bb F Oh, they built the ship Titanic, to sail the ocean blue. G7 C7 And they thought they had a ship that the water would never go through. F F7 BbG F But the Good Lord raised his hand and said the ship would never land C7 F F7 It was sad when the great ship went down. Chorus: Bb F It was sad (so sad) it was sad (too bad) C7 It was sad when the great ship went down (to the bottom of the....) F F7 Bb Husbands and wives, little children lost their lives F C7 F It was sad when the great ship went down. F Bb F Oh, they sailed in from England and were almost to the shore G7 C7 When the rich refused to associate with the poor. F F7 Bb F So they put them down below, where they'd be the first to go. C7 F F7 It was sad when the great ship went down. - Chorus - F Bb F The ship was full of water and the sides about to burst, G7 C7 When the captain shouted: "Women and children first!" F F7 Bb F Oh, the captain tried to wire but the lines were all on fire C7 F F7 It was sad when the great ship went down - Chorus - F Bb F Oh they swung the lifeboats out o'er the deep and raging sea G7 C7 When the band struck up with Nearer My God to Thee F F7 Bb F Little children wept and cried as the waves swept o'er the side C7 Bb F7 It was sad when the great ship went down. - Chorus - F Bb F Lady Aster turned around as she watched her husband drown G7 C7 And the ship Titanic made a gurgling sound F F7 Bb F So she wrapped herself in mink and she called herself a fink C7 F F7 It was sad when that great ship went down - Chorus - F Bb F The moral of the story, as you can plainly see, G7 C7 Is to wear a life preserver and never go out to sea. F F7 Bb F Keep your feet upon the ground, ever pure and faithful be C7 F F7 It was sad when the great ship went down Bb F It was sad (so sad) it was sad (too bad) C7 It was sad when the great ship went down (to the bottom of the....) F F7 Bb F Husbands and wives, little children lost their lives F C7 F It was sad when the great ship went down. F F7 Bb F Ker-plunk, it sunk to the bottom of the sea Bb C7 F It was sad when the great ship went down Lines I've never heard: When the people on the ship were a long way from home, With the people all around them didn't know their time had come. But Death came ridin' by, sixteen hundred had to die. It was sad when that great ship went down The captain stood on deck with a tear drop in his eye As the last boat went out, he waved them all goodbye He knew he made a slip, so he went down with his ship It was sad when the great ship went down It was a night none would forget, even millionaires got wet!
Ants Go Marching
Dm F The ants go marching one by one, hurrah, hurrah Dm F The ants go marching one by one, hurrah, hurrah C7 Dm A The ants go marching one by one, the little one stops to suck his thumb F C7 Dm A Dm And they all go marching down to the ground to get out of the rain, A Bb# C# (as single notes) BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Dm F The ants go marching two by two, hurrah, hurrah Dm F The ants go marching two by two, hurrah, hurrah C7 Dm A The ants go marching two by two, the little one stops to tie his shoe F C7 Dm A Dm And they all go marching down to the ground to get out of the rain, A Bb# C# (as single notes) BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Dm F The ants go marching three by three, hurrah, hurrah Dm F The ants go marching three by three, hurrah, hurrah C7 Dm A The ants go marching three by three, the little one stops to climb a tree F C7 Dm A Dm And they all go marching down to the ground to get out of the rain, A Bb# C# (as single notes) BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Dm F The ants go marching four by four, hurrah, hurrah Dm F The ants go marching four by four, hurrah, hurrah C7 Dm A The ants go marching four by four, the little one stops to shut the door F C7 Dm A Dm And they all go marching down to the ground to get out of the rain, A Bb# C# (as single notes) BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Dm F The ants go marching five by five, hurrah, hurrah Dm F The ants go marching five by five, hurrah, hurrah C7 Dm A The ants go marching five by five, the little one stops to take a dive F C7 Dm A Dm And they all go marching down to the ground to get out of the rain, A Bb# C# (as single notes) BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Dm F The ants go marching six by six, hurrah, hurrah Dm F The ants go marching six by six, hurrah, hurrah C7 Dm A The ants go marching six by six, the little one stops to pick up sticks F C7 Dm A Dm And they all go marching down to the ground to get out of the rain, A Bb# C# (as single notes) BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Dm F The ants go marching seven by seven, hurrah, hurrah Dm F The ants go marching seven by seven, hurrah, hurrah C7 Dm A The ants go marching seven by seven, the little one stops to look at heaven F C7 Dm A Dm And they all go marching down to the ground to get out of the rain, A Bb# C# (as single notes) BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Dm F The ants go marching eight by eight, hurrah, hurrah Dm F The ants go marching eight by eight, hurrah, hurrah C7 Dm A The ants go marching eight by eight, the little one stops to shut the gate F C7 Dm A Dm And they all go marching down to the ground to get out of the rain, A Bb# C# (as single notes) BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Dm F The ants go marching nine by nine, hurrah, hurrah Dm F The ants go marching nine by nine, hurrah, hurrah C7 Dm A The ants go marching nine by nine, the little one stops to check the time F C7 Dm A Dm And they all go marching down to the ground to get out of the rain, A Bb# C# (as single notes) BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Dm F The ants go marching ten by ten, hurrah, hurrah Dm F The ants go marching ten by ten, hurrah, hurrah C7 Dm A The ants go marching ten by ten, the little one stops to say "THE END" F C7 Dm A Dm And they all go marching down to the ground to get out of the rain, A Bb# C# (as single notes) BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
Seven Old Ladies
-Chorus- C F C F
Oh Dear, what can the matter be? C F G Seven old ladies got locked in the lavatory! C F C F They were there from Sunday to Saturday C F G
Nobody knew they were there Dm la la la -Verse 1- C F Bb F C Well the first old lady, was old Mrs. Humphry F Bb F C
She only went in to make herself comfy F Bb F C
But when she went to leave she couldn't get her bum free F Bb F
Cause nobody knew she was there -Chorus- -Verse 2- C F Bb F C Well the next one in line was old Mrs. Draper F Bb F C She went in but couldn't find the paper F Bb (No Chord) So she used a brick layers scraper F Bb F And nobody knew she was there -Chorus- -Verse 3- C F Bb F C Well the next old lady was old Mrs. Flynn F Bb F C She only went in on a personal whim F Bb (No Chord) Somehow she got stuck between the bowl and the rim F Bb F Cause nobody knew she was there -Chorus-
-Verse 4- C F Bb F C Well the next one in was Mrs. McArthur F Bb F C She needed to go, to the washroom she darted F Bb (No Chord) She paid a nickel but only (horn simulating flatulence) F Bb F And nobody knew she was there -Chorus- -Verse 5- C F Bb F C Well the next old lady was old Mrs. Schuster F Bb (No Chord) She sat on the handle and thought someone goosed her F Bb (No Chord) Said "Oh my dear, it don't feel like it used to" F Bb F Nobody knew she was there -Chorus- -Verse 6- C F Bb F C Well the last old lady was old Mrs. Mason F Bb F C
Well she had to go so she used a basin F Bb F C That was the water that I washed my face in F Bb F Nobody knew she was there